Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Russian Women and Foreign Marriage: The Truth

In today's fast-paced, computer dominated world, there's no doubt that young men and women have quite a challenge in trying to find companionship. With the divorce rate among the highest in the world, the United States has struggled to find the traditional values which once defined it.

It's no surprise then that young men in particular have found solace in a new outlet; Russian women and the online dating sites and agencies where they can be found. Other popular locations for foreign marriage include FSU Countries, as well as Asia and even South America. Russian women in particular are known for their beauty and traditional values. The big question however, is what's the real deal? Are these beautiful, faithful women too good to be true? Is foreign marriage nothing but a big scam? What marriage statistics are available? Most importantly, can you find love overseas?

Let's start with the facts. Due to the complexity of foreign marriage, there aren't many marriage statistics to work with. In fact the only widely quoted statistic is from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS), which reports that "...marriages arranged through these [foreign dating] services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole, fully 80 percent of these marriages having lasted over the years for which reports are available." This is great news for men looking to find a solid marriage! Still, it's a vague statistic. We don't know how many years it's talking about or any other specifics.

The US Department of Homeland Security and Department of State report that for the year 2003, 46,411 immigrants arrived on marriage and fiance visas, while 5,435 departed. Using these numbers we can loosely conclude that around 88% of these marriages lasted at least one year.

Unfortunately, there's no denying that there are superficial motives on both sides. US citizenship is an extremely valuable commodity, which is very difficult to obtain in places like Eastern Europe. Russian women may be drawn to the financial opportunity presented by marrying an American man as well. On the other hand, an American man could certainly exploit the system by attempting to marry a woman out of his league or far too young to be realistic. A controlling man might also wish to have a naive foreign wife who he can manipulate.

As with many things in life the truth about foreign marriage probably lies somewhere in the middle. Are all Russian women looking for marriage evil scammers? Of course not. In countries like Ukraine the sex ratio is among the most unbalanced in the world (in favor of men). It's no wonder then, that the women there are looking elsewhere for a husband. Men looking at Russian women for a potential wife should use their head, be careful, be realistic, and take their time. Just because it's a foreign marriage doesn't mean it will be an easy marriage! Finally, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Good Luck!

Sources:

U.S. Department of State, Visa Office - Immigrant and Nonimmigrant Visas Issued: Fiscal Years 1998-2003
U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Office of Immigration Statistics - Length of Visit of Nonimmigrants Departing the United States in 2003

8 comments:

  1. Russian women ...and I mean 99% of them just want a ticket out and a nice soft landing in the USA ...until they get their bearings...meet some other russians ... and have a chance to set you up so they can take everything you have. your marriage may last a few years longer than the average of 3 yrs if she needs you to finish paying for her degrees or something. I worked at the US Consulate in St Petersburg for 2 years and I would love to tell you exactly the way it really is... don't buy into the 'traditional storyline" these girls are nothing more than high paid call girls ...and they are mean on top of it. Of all of the marriages I have known about personally THERE IS NOT ONE MARRIAGE STILL INTACT ...ALL DIVORCED! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW THEY OPERATE AND DROP ME A LINE.

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  2. afer reading your description as a blogger, i can see your brain is washed. I don't think USA has ever been politicly correctness driven. It is just lies and deceptions left over by intelligence agencies that only work to make the enconomy better, make other people suffer to make America's life better.
    If you would be muslim i think you'd be ready to blow yourself up !!
    About russian ladies, there is 86 men for 100 women, that means there are 10 millions women that will for sure, never get a life with a man and make their own familly. I think what you said about it has one part of true but that's not all about it. If guys taht marry russian girls are only ungly superficial assholes, there's no wonder why they don't stay with them !!

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  3. I'm very very sad after your words, CJ.
    Im russian girl, I'm 24 and I want to find real love, feelings..No matter which nationality he will be. It's so sad that 99% of americans thinking like you. Maybe in 90's, in Soviet Union when the situation was terrible, every *ucking women dreamed about lining somewhere abroad, even in Africa...You can't imagine how it was to stay 4 hours to buy a bread. You can't..I want to look at you)
    But now the situation changed. The living here is much better, not catastrofic. And we dont need to be a prostitute to get a ticket to America. For us it's not the "country of dream" believe me)
    It's so sad that you don't understand the situation and speak so loud, like you know)
    Good luck!)

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  4. There maybe some truth to what Cj said, but that is overly generalizing. Women from Russia or Ukraine have pride! They are willing to work at a job, raise their children, and support their husband. Granted the USA is a big country of opportunities, that even American women don't take full advantage of. I don't see a problem if a woman who is well educated and want a better life in USA. I've met several women in Ukraine and all of them didn't need a man for money. They rather work for their own. They don't need a man, but like everyone, they want love.
    It is STUPID American men who do not think. Maybe their ambition is only looking for sex. Thinking they can buy sex, well you can buy sex from hot women here in the USA. But to think that you can buy LOVE, you're stupid. Ans Russian/ukr women are not stupid. The serious ones well know if you're only about games. Other ones who play games are the ones that Guys lose their money and time over. If you're fat, bald, and in bad health..then believe that no 20 year old from Russia is going to love you. If Americans women arent attracted to you, don't expect no other woman to.

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  5. There is a lot of truth to what CJ said. But as other people have commented it is a generalization. I was married to a lady from Russia for eight years. I will share with you my experience. We married after being pen pals for a year. She was young, as was I and very beautiful. The marriage went fine for about six months and then her mother showed up for what turned into a four month visit. After her monther had been at our house for a few weeks, she changed. My wife became more combative and argumentative. She would argue about things that were so non issue that it would be embarassing to claim they were.
    Here's the bottom line for anyone who thinks they want to marry a Russian or FSU gal.
    1. You must understand that these women are extremely materialistic. Even moreso than their western counterparts and that's saying something. You might have to get used to peoples' stares as they look and giggle at your wife as she strolls throuh the supermarket with her faux mink coat and feather boa while wearing high heeled gold shoes with big, fake diamonds on the toes. Russians' fasion sense in baroque and gaudy most of the time and usually more appropriate to a Paris runway than a midwestern town. If you live in a place where women and men typically like to put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to go shopping then this will be a problem.
    2. Be prepared to get used to Russian culture, day in and day out because she will never acclimate herself to yours. I have been in contact with at least five other men who were married to Russian/FSU women and our stories are so similar it's frightening. Your refrigerator will smell like stale, rotten fish. Your whole house will aquire the pungent smell of those Russian heart drops that they drink constantly. Wierd medications (mostly smelly) that you cant read that sit in the medicine cabinet and accumulate to the point that you can't even fit in some Bayer aspirin. Which eventually finds it's home next to the soap on the basin. You trip over a stack of Russian sleaze tabloids wherever you turn in your bedroom because your wife thinks it's bad luck to throw them out (the mice eventually find some use for them).

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  6. 3. You will have visitors you your house all hours of the day and night. These will be the Russian friends your wife brings home. They will generally exclude you from all the goings on and then walk out in a group to some unknown location (usually a techno dance club)leaving you with the frozen pizza and a late night movie. Also you'll come home one night fantasizing abou a big, heaping mound of spaghetti and meat sauce that you were saving for that evening only to find that your cabinets are bare as your wife tells you that Vladimir and Olga were not doing so well this month so she let them take some (all) of the groceries. Your wife will also scurry about before these said vistis from her friends and when you ask her what she's doing, she tells you that she's gathering up anything of value tht she can find so her Russian friends won't steal it when they come.
    3. Your wife will be vulnerable to odd and sometimes extreme requests from her family back in the fatherland. It's usually expensive stuff like diabetes monitoring equipment, fertility testing equipment, basically stuff generally related to medical needs and it costs about as much to ship it as it does to buy in the first place. Also be prepared to be undermined at any moment if your short or long term goals run contrary to her's or those of her family relative to her.
    4. Be prepared to deal with absurd superstitions. This will manifest itself in anything from the color of your couch, the shirt you are wearing, the stray cat that has taken shelter under your deck, or simply the fact that your father decided to whistle a short tune while sittig in te easy chair after a sunday visit.
    5. Hygene issues. My wife was instructed by her mother that if she wanted fuller bodied hair that she should soak her hair in her own urine at least three times a week. So my wife woudl walk around the house smelling like rancid piss all hours of the day. This was a particularly big point of contention between us but didn't manifest itself until the last year of our marriage.
    6. Your wife will probably be a lazy slob. Russian parents of the former Soviet years had lives of hardship and were very very hard workers. So much so that they did everything for their kids. Young russians nowadays lay around and are lazy making out like it's some huge task to take the dirty bowl of cereal to the sink to put with the other dishes. You'll be doing most of the house work. I finally divorced my wife and am now happily married to a woman thatis everything she wasn't.

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  7. I feel you Xingyiman!
    I really feel bad for you that your marriage did not work out.
    However, you should keep in mind that once you marry someone from a different culture you cannot simply expect them to change their way of living, habits and traditions to your will and expectations, as you should love each other's personality and not each other's cultures. I know it can be difficult to live with a person or people from different cultures, but it is just the matter of compromise and communication.
    Also, I think her 'native' or 'traditional' values were not the problem that you try to claim they were. If she was not willing to spend time with you (choose discos and other friends over you) and not willing to cook for you after you asked and talked about it. (which I hope you did) has nothing to do with her nationality. Any girl from any country can be a horrible companion, even from your own.
    I would also like to add that there are a lot of girls and BOYS!!!, as well, looking to get a citizenship, and there is a lot of people who are looking for these kind of people. I think if you go on dating websites or special websites dedicated for people looking for an obedient foreign, 'house maintaining-pleasure machine for home' you might want to reconsider what love is or your expectations form a marriage. (if u still want a 'house maintaining-pleasure machine' you can get a housekeeper and there are local call girls out there...which are a cheaper and less complicated alternatives) However, I don’t think arranged marriages should be look down upon if both parties know what is going on., and if both parties get out of it what they want.
    I hope all of you will find your perfect companion, because if you do nationality will not be an issue and that is the TRUTH and not statistics!

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  8. I'm very very sad after your words, CJ.
    Im russian girl, I'm 24 and I want to find real love, feelings..No matter which nationality he will be. It's so sad that 99% of americans thinking like you. Maybe in 90's, in Soviet Union when the situation was terrible, every *sucking women dreamed about lining somewhere abroad, even in Africa...You can't imagine how it was to stay 4 hours to buy a bread. You can't..I want to look at you)
    But now the situation changed. The living here is much better, not catastrophic. And we don't need to be a prostitute to get a ticket to America. For us it's not the "country of dream" believe me)
    It's so sad that you don't understand the situation and speak so loud, like you know).Russian Love

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