Today we will examine the top 10 signs that you are a middle child. Having middle child syndrome is no joke. You could end up working in a cheese sandwich factory if you're not careful!
1) You Would Rather Suffer than Confront ANY Situation
The middle child is used to having low self-esteem and confidence. They assume that every problem is somehow their fault, no matter how ridiculous. Take for example noisy neighbors. While a firstborn will eagerly confront the neighbors with gunfire or a call to the police, the middle child would rather put earplugs on or move to a new city.
2) You Have Human Emotions
Unlike their robotic firstborn counterparts and last-born attention whores, the middle child actually considers the welfare of other people. This is a weakness which should be corrected immediately through caffeine addiction, military training, or repeated electroshock therapy. The middle child cannot afford to be "nice" to people and let them get away with their treachery!
3) Did I Mention You're Too Nice To People?
The middle child is always too nice for their own good, especially when it comes to business. They are often extremely talented but unlike the opportunistic and ruthless firstborn, the middle child is more likely to give everything away for free. The middle child has a warped perspective of their own worth, and often undervalues it.
4) You Help Everyone Else Fix Their Problems, But End Up Homeless
Middle children love to help other people, but it goes beyond "being too nice". The middle child will spend a vast amount of their time and resources helping other people who probably don't deserve it, then end up with less money in their bank account than the US Government.
5) You Have Plans, But They Never Happen!
The middle child is brilliant at making plans in life, but never actually following them anywhere. From "moving to Africa" to "starting the next Google", middle children have thought it all up! Typically after announcing such epic plans, the middle child can be found in their living room watching Lost and whining about waking up for work in the morning.
6) You Have a Realistic View of Yourself
While firstborns think they are Gods, and last-borns are too busy getting "high on life", the middle child knows exactly where they stand. This makes middle children master of manipulation, as they understand themselves, firstborns, and last-borns as well. Unfortunately, the middle child's low confidence and self-esteem will ensure that they never have the guts to manipulate anybody. Did I mention they were too nice also?
7) When You Actually Accomplish Something, Nobody Cares
For the aspiring middle child who actually does do something in life, nobody seems to care anyway! The firstborns will be too stubborn to admit your success, and the last-borns will be more concerned with finding that dance music album they just lost.
8) I'm a Middle Child..
I just lost my attention span so we will just stop at 7. *Yawn* now it's off to watch some Lost! Did I mention I hate waking up in the morning?