Worst Cook Ever

I AM the worst cook ever. I swear. Everyone else was apparently born with a thorough knowledge of proper meat temperatures and grilling techniques. Every time I try to cook something it burns... bad. If it doesn't burn then I forgot one or more crucial ingredients and as for reading those recipes? Yeah, you can multiply the "preparation time" by about 10.

Today I went to my friend's house, where he effortlessly cooked perfect steaks, chicken, and even hot dogs (well at least I can do that!) I was amazed at how perfect the chicken was. I could NEVER do it that well. Worse is how modest the guy was.. He shrugged off my compliments as if his dog could have cooked the meat to perfection.

Seriously, what is it with men and cooking? Not to bash the women out there, but they typically don't seem fond of grilling. All my guy friends just have this intimate knowledge of BBQ'ing, and come up with recipes on the fly like it's nothing. I couldn't even imagine attempting to INVENT my own sauce. What a disaster that would be.. Just a few months ago I couldn't even cook a pot pie without a complete disaster every few minutes! It took me hours just to prepare the damn thing BEFORE I put it in the oven. I will admit however, that it turned out pretty good under the circumstances (of me cooking..)

If there is a God, and I ever meet him, I'm going to demand to know why I wasn't programmed with cooking skills, and why all my friends were. How come I can take apart a computer with my eyes closed and put it back together again, but I can't even heat up tea without destroying the microwave!