Fun With Google Product Search

I'm always looking for entertainment in life, and Google Product Search is a great way to entertain yourself. It gives you insight into what people are searching to buy on the internet. I like to refresh it and laugh at all the retarded junk people spend money on.

Let's start off with the an item no respectable human should be without: A Grappling Hook. Since I'm fairly certain that Navy SEALS aren't buying their equipment on Google Product Search, that leaves the rest of you clowns! Now what are you people going to do with a grappling hook?! What is this, Die Hard 5?

With that out of the way, let's move on to Hulk Smash Hands. You know, 10 years ago when I worked in a toy store, I used to put the Hulk smash hands on and take people down! Shoplifters, employees, and even mall security guards felt the wrath of my ultimate green power! Of course that was a decade ago. Too bad I didn't come up with that product idea because if people are still buying them the inventor must be banking.

For those of you who are a bit "retro", don't forget to pick up a sundial on the net, because all the coolest people use them to tell the time. Who needs a Rolex when you can have a solid brass sundial that weighs 20 pounds?

If you're trying to make a BIG fashion statement, there's no better way than to purchase a Chef's Hat. Be the life of the party with a fashion accessory so unique and cool, Brad Pitt himself would be jealous. Even better, you could purchase a Personalized Chef Hat and get your name printed on it. What do you think, should I go with "C-Dawg"?

If that doesn't impress you, perhaps you can buy an "Explosive-Proof Refrigerator", for the low price of just $5000. I don't know WHAT that's used for but it sounds pretty bad-ass. Who wouldn't want to brag to their friends about having an explosive-proof refrigerator?

Let's move on to my personal favorite, the Megaphone. It's a great way to communicate with people who have less than adequate hearing, such as high school kids. Why wait in traffic when you can turn on the authentic siren and pass everybody? Just be careful around police, who may not appreciate your impersonation attempt.

Looking to become the next world-news sensation? Get yourself a Green Laser Pointer, and the power to blind airplane pilots 5 miles up will be yours! The newest green laser pointers have a range of hundreds of miles, making this task easier than ever! Don't forget to Tweet about your activity in excruciating detail so that the FBI can easily track you down. You don't even need kids or a giant balloon to pull this off!

To quench the "corny" inside of you, it's always a smart decision to purchase an Accordion. What better instrument could you possibly pick to get attention from all the ladies? Most rock stars start their careers with an accordion. Didn't you know that?

Last but not least, we have the Mickey Mouse Toaster. What a brilliant idea! Let's give a device that could burn the hell out of you and probably electrocute you a Disney theme! How about they invent a "Barney Stun Gun" while they're at it?!