Adler Personality: How To Deal With a Firstborn

Today we're going to talk about the best ways to deal with a firstborn. The great doctor Alfred Adler came up with the idea of birth order theory a long time ago! Before we get started I have a confession to make; I'm a firstborn myself. Well actually that's not true. I'm some kind of hybrid. I have an older sister and three younger brothers, so technically I'm somewhere between a firstborn and middle child. I'm also adopted. Is this all making sense to you? OK, great. Let's get started on how to deal with a firstborn:

1) Don't Deal With a Firstborn

The best way to deal with a firstborn is not to deal with a firstborn. You see, firstborns are very hard to deal with. Did I say that already? Avoiding a firstborn altogether will increase your chances of dealing with a firstborn successfully. I would recommend this route unless you are forced to deal with a firstborn. Is this all making sense to you? If not perhaps you should read this paragraph again and take notes.

2) Make Them Think It's Their Idea

Firstborns only do what firstborns want to do, so you can never "convince" them to do anything. Instead, you must make them think every idea is theirs. Let me give you a scenario. We will use the name "Jason" for my imaginary firstborn friend. In this scenario I want to go out to eat with Jason. Here is how it typically goes:

THE COUNT
Hey there Jason! How's life today? So I was thinking, let's go out to Burger King.

JASON
Na, I'm too Busy. Why would you want to go to Burger King anyway? That place sucks and it's unhealthy, You know, you're always eating unhealthy. (Jason then decides to go to McDonald's for dinner).

OK so that didn't work too well. You see, it wasn't Jason's idea, and therefore he rejected it. In many cases Jason will end up picking a very similar place to eat out (but it does have to be different). That way he can come up with 500 excuses for why he chose McDonald's over Burger King. It's not that Jason doesn't want to go out to eat; it's just that he will only do something if it's his idea. While the following solution will not get exactly what you want in most cases, it works much better.

THE COUNT
Hey there Jason! How's life today? I'm pretty hungry, but not sure I feel like doing anything. (walks away as if defeated)

JASON
Hey let's go to Burger King!

THE COUNT
Well, OK. I'll get ready.

This worked much better as you can see. You hint that you are hungry, but then "change your mind" as if it's too much work. This gives Jason the opportunity to make it "his idea". Firstborns LOVE when something is their idea, so 90% of the time it will work. He will gladly jump into the conversation and make a suggestion on where you should go to eat. If you're lucky, it might even be the place you wanted to go!

3) Use a Firstborn's Ego Against Them

Firstborns have enormous egos which require constant maintenance. This is why they are always blabbering on about how great they are. You can use this against them. Public appearances are usually very important to firstborns, so if you manage to make any situation public, they will go from being stubborn to doing what looks best in the public eye.

This method isn't foolproof however. Realize that firstborns are also very manipulative and cunning, and will gladly lie to get their way. If they can sway the public in their direction, it will give them a massive ego boost and you can be sure they will not change their mind on a subject or comply. Firstborns like to use tactics such as leaving out crucial facts detrimental to their cause, or exaggerating facts that make them look good ten-fold.

4) Go Along With The Firstborn and Hope They Lead You To Victory

Giving up is always an option. Fighting a firstborn is extremely stressful and in many cases futile. By just going along with them, they will consider you an ally (in SOME sense) and perhaps treat you better in the long run. Just hope that they have good intentions, or you could be in for a big surprise!

5) Find Another Firstborn to Fight the Firstborn

If you're lucky maybe you can find a more alpha firstborn to battle the bad firstborn! That way you can stay out of the way and let them battle it out! It could end in many different ways. What's certain is that it will either be highly amusing or will make you fall asleep. Just remember that even if one firstborn wins, the other firstborn doesn't lose, because a firstborn never loses inside their own head.

6) Get The Firstborn Drunk

It works on women, so why not try it on a firstborn? They are sure to go into excruciating detail about the many failures in their life they have been covering up for the last decade. Luckily, alcohol works on everyone!

7) Find a NICE Firstborn

Not all firstborns are evil. In fact I have some very good firstborn friends! However, in life I am sure you will experience the bad firstborn someday, whether it's at work or in your personal life. Just remember that these types of firstborns can be very difficult to deal with, and they don't play life by the same rules that you do. Good Luck!