Roland Emmerich's 2012 is an absolute bore-fest. I don't even know where to begin. 2012 was so long I was starting to wonder if the end of the world might actually come before the credits rolled.
First we have John Cusack, a formidable actor playing "Jackson Curtis", who wrote a book. We don't really learn much about this book; only that the important science advisor "Adrian" read it at some point in his life, and therefore it's worth talking about. Curtis runs around the movie surviving every possible ridiculous situation you can think of. If I'm not mistaken I believe Curtis and his cronies survived not one, two, but THREE separate plane takeoff events during catastrophes. In any case, Cusack seems to know he's in a terrible movie, and just goes through the motions to collect his hefty paycheck.
Chiwetel Ejiofor plays the nerdy scientist "Adrian", who has such a noble heart it will either make you barf or throw your TV out the window. During the entire movie, Adrian acts more like a bleeding heart liberal than any kind of scientist I've ever met. He's so worried about saving everyone in the world that he forgets about such "unimportant" things like I don't know.. Science? Planning? And logistics? The most ridiculous part was when Adrian went up against the big bad G-Man "Carl Anheuser", who was the only person thinking straight in the whole damn movie. Of course Emmerich makes Anheuser look like a jerk, but the truth is he was the only guy actually following a plan while everyone else just "followed their heart". Too bad that doesn't work in real life.
Pretty much everyone else in the movie isn't even worth mentioning. We have Curtis' ex-wife and her nerdy husband, a couple of annoying kids, and some rich, shady Russian with two kids who look like shaggy dogs. Oh yeah and the Russian whore with the heart of gold. Wow, what amazing supporting actors we have in this movie. Did I forget anyone? Yes of course, Danny Glover who plays the selfless president. Aside from the fact that Glover has the most annoying voice I've ever heard, he pretty much does nothing useful in the film.
It's hard to even cover all the negatives of this movie it was so bad. It was well over two hours in length for no particular reason. The science in the movie was just ridiculous. The ONLY redeeming factor of this movie was the special effects.. They were good for the most part, but it's a shame they were accompanied by such a dull script.
Sorry Emmerich, but things have clearly gone downhill. Independence Day was a great film, and Day After Tomorrow had *some* magic left, but 2012 is just a stinker. The sad thing is- it probably made more money than the other two movies put together. I really think I should start producing movies because there's no doubt I could make a movie better than 2012.
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